What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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