I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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