I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
