so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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