I like to think it a success when the cops are called
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
