Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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