Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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