I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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