i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize