eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
