I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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