Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
