He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
