I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
