You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
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I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.