i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar