there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?