Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Drake has all the answers