If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
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This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo