I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
