you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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