I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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