I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
