i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
