if i can run in heels then i can drive
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize