you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
