I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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