i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize