Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
