mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
