why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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