Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
bring money and cleavage
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Oh god it's open bar.
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