The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you will always have a special place in my vag
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
