I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
