I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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