But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize