dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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