The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
