I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
