Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
