I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
