Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most