I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..