she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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