Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize