Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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