I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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