No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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