I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
