May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
