I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
