dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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