Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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