No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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