He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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