Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize