New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
