how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
