I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
