I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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