it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
should my penis look like a turkey
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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