it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
