I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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