so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
