my shit smells like andre
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
