Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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