He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
