I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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