I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
